Review: Splendid China

I was so excited to find that my neighborhood was brimming with Chinese food take out joints. I think it is great to pop in to a take out place and hit them up for some beef and broccoli after a long day. Due to SPLENDID CHINA's close proximity to my apartment, I decided I was going to try their food first.

I walk in with a growling tummy excited for the cheap but savory food which I have grown to love. The restaurant has a small area for about 4 people to sit and wait for their food, or eat in if they do so desire. The two people behind the counter were Asian men in what appeared to be their very early 20's. I was excited to support the place as it was also the GRAND OPENING for SPLENDID CHINA! Lots of banners had been up ( they have been taken down since and now the restaurant appears as it does in this photo.

One of the young men came to the counter and asked how he could help me. I told him I would like some beef and broccoli-- which is very very moderately priced- and that Id like to try their wonton soup. Two of my favourite take out dishes. I waited about 7 minutes at the most at the one table when he came back and told me to choose what soda i wanted which came free with my meal. They had root beer so i was THRILLED. I paid for the food, which was very very cheap and felt heavy as a waddled home.

In the kitchen, like a kid on Christmas opening a box full of excited puppies, i unwrapped my food. I noticed first that they had not given me chopsticks... which I was disappointed in because I think chopsticks make everything taste better. Then I opened the Styrofoam container that was stapled shut. . The meat was weird looking and shriveled. It looked like it was made of the cheapest most fatty meat they could find. The broccoli was limp and pathetic looking. But no matter-- I was starving and couldn't wait to dive on in. I stabbed the fatty meat and put it my mouth and began to chew it. The brown sauce that is supposed to be the most delicious part of the meal and the primary flavour and marinade was underwhelming. The meat, as i expected was very very fatty, and didn't have the texture good beef should have. It was like eating hot wet dirty shoelaces. I began to salt the food in preparation to enjoy the broccoli. But sadly, it was not enjoyable. It felt and tasted like it had either been cooking all day, or frozen for weeks prior to its journey to my mouth. It was soft and tasted as though it had been about to flower or had begun to before it was thrown in a wok.

The rice that came with it was fine, it wasn't anything to call home about-- but on the plus side- there was A LOT of it. On the 'not so hot' side, there was more rice than there was B&B. So, I knew it wasn't going to be an awesome meal but i would end up full.

Next up, some wonton soup. The broth was nearly flavourless. Now understand me-- I am not a smoker, i have very refined taste buds and enjoy naming all the spices in any dish i know. But this was most certainly a diluted chicken broth with no added salt or seasoning. But the wontons floating in this yellowish water were not too bad. They were pretty doughy. Its as through the wonton dough prior to folding was not rolled thin enough. But they had a pleasant sort of taste and I was beginning to salt everything till it tasted like something at this point anyway.

But I shouldn't have expected too much. You see, it was about 6 bucks for all this, and i swear it must have been two and a half pounds of food. So, I ate, and was full. But couldn't think about keeping the leftovers for later- just not worth it.

So-- is SPLENDID CHINA worth the ink? or is it Rinky-Dink? on a scale of 1 to 10 Splendid china earns a 3. All that is guaranteed is that you will be full at the end of the meal- everything else seems a little to sketchy to count on.

UPDATE!!!

On the other side of the block is a Chinese restaurant... I went in,, got the same order, and had the same results. Now that i view to photos side by side i see why. Apparently someone has a monopoly on the Chinese food take out game in Inwood. NOT THRILLED. And not worth the ink. But I shall keep consuming Chinese take out till i find "THE ONE." ...stay tuned....